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Home ยป Real talk: A Southend carer reflects on 11 years of fostering
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Real talk: A Southend carer reflects on 11 years of fostering

Southend-on-Sea City CouncilBy Southend-on-Sea City Council15 May 2026No Comments6 Mins Read
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At a Glance

  • Southend is currently looking for four new foster carers this year
  • Foster carers come from all walks of life and receive financial support
  • Foster Care Fortnight 2026 is highlighting the realities of fostering
  • Southend foster carer Debbie Kelly reflects on her 11-year fostering journey
  • The Mockingbird programme helps create a strong support network for carers and children

Fostering is often talked about in broad terms: care, support, making a difference. But for the 76 Southend foster carers living it every day, the reality is far more human, complex and powerful.

Thatโ€™s exactly what Foster Care Fortnight 2026 (11โ€“24 May) is setting out to show.

As the UKโ€™s biggest awareness campaign for fostering, this yearโ€™s theme, โ€œThis is Fostering,โ€ shines a light on the rewarding moments, the challenges, and the vital support carers need and receive to continue making a difference.

Who can foster?

Southend Fostering is currently looking to add four foster carers to its network this year. Interestingly, many people assume that fostering requires a particular background or experience, but carers come from all walks of life.

To foster, you just need to be over the age of 21 and have a spare room, regardless of your ethnic background, employment status, marital status or sexual orientation. Financially, you will receive a fostering fee and a generous allowance for each child in placement.

Lissa-Marie Minnis, Director of Childrenโ€™s Social Work, Early Help & Youth Support, said:

โ€œFostering is one of the most meaningful ways people can make a difference, not just to a child, but to an entire family and community. This story captures something incredibly powerful: the importance of connection, trust and simply being there, day after day. In Southend, we are proud to support our foster carers through initiatives like Mockingbird, which creates a strong, supportive network around them. It means no one is fostering alone.

โ€œWe know that people often think fostering requires extraordinary circumstances, but the reality is that itโ€™s about ordinary people doing something extraordinary. If youโ€™ve ever thought about fostering, weโ€™d really encourage you to come and have a conversation with us. It could be the start of something truly lifechanging.โ€

Find out more about who can foster, the different types of foster care, the financial rewards and much more on the Southend Fostering website or by emailing fostering@southend.gov.uk.


A Southend foster carerโ€™s story

What does fostering really look like?

In Southend, one answer comes from Hub Carer Debbie Kelly, who has a 24-year-old daughter and a 13-year-old-son. While her daughter has flown the nest, Debbie says her son is โ€œvery much part of my fostering journey.โ€

โ€œI went into fostering 11 years ago because I love kids and love the idea of a busy household. I also wanted to be at home for my kids whilst providing a safe home for other children along the way,โ€ Debbie explains.

But what exactly is a Hub carer? Within the Mockingbird programme a Hub Carer supports a group of local foster families (known as satellite carers), creating a close-knit network where no one is left to cope on their own.

Think of it less as individual fostering households and more as a connected community.

โ€œIt means youโ€™re part of something bigger,โ€ the carer explains. โ€œThereโ€™s always someone there who understands what youโ€™re going through.โ€

Many of Southendโ€™s foster carers do it long-term. In fact, recently one foster carer received a โ€œlong-term achievement awardโ€ for 40 years of fostering.

โ€œNo two days are ever the sameโ€

For this Southend Hub Carer, the day often begins in a familiar way.

โ€œMornings start like any other family home: getting everyone ready, making breakfast, finding missing shoes before the school run,โ€ they say.

โ€œBut at the same time, Iโ€™m checking our Mockingbird WhatsApp group to see who might need support.โ€

That support can take many forms.

โ€œOne day it might be helping with a school run or childcare. Another day, itโ€™s soft play, arts and crafts, or simply being there. Sometimes itโ€™s making sure children get to where they need to be and feel safe while theyโ€™re doing it.โ€

Itโ€™s this balance, practical help alongside emotional presence, that defines the role.

More than one child, more than one family

Fostering doesnโ€™t happen in isolation.

Through Mockingbird, foster carers are supported by others who understand the realities of the role: the good days and the difficult ones.

โ€œThere are always check-ins with other carers,โ€ they explain. โ€œThat might be listening after a tough night, offering reassurance during a crisis, or stepping in when someone needs a break. I learn so much from their experiences too.โ€

If you think about it, this support doesnโ€™t just benefit the 92 foster care children in Southend; it sustains the carers themselves.

The moments that stay with you

While the role comes with responsibility, it is often the quieter moments that leave the biggest impact.

โ€œSome of the best moments come from the relationships that build over time,โ€ the Hub Carer says. โ€œLooking after children with complex needs means trust isnโ€™t instant, but when it happens, itโ€™s incredibly special.โ€

And the experience is not without joy. From day trips and activities to simple time spent together, there is laughter alongside the challenges.

โ€œAt the Hub home, we host cooking sessions and activities where children can spend time together, enjoy sibling contact, and simply feel part of a family environment. I genuinely enjoy the laughter, the chaos and seeing young people relax and just be themselves.โ€

Not about perfection but about presence

For anyone considering fostering, one message is clear: You donโ€™t need to be perfect.

โ€œBeing a Hub Carer isnโ€™t about grand gestures,โ€ they say. โ€œItโ€™s about showing up, day after day, offering practical help, emotional support, and a safe place for children and carers alike.โ€

There are busy days. Unpredictable ones. Moments that test your patience and resilience.

โ€œItโ€™s busy, unpredictable, sometimes exhausting, but itโ€™s also full of trust, laughter, and the kind of moments that remind you why Mockingbird matters so much.โ€

Come and have a conversation

Like many areas across the UK, there is an ongoing need for more carers. We need at least four new carers this year.

Southend-on-Sea City Council is encouraging anyone who has ever thought about fostering to take the first step, simply by finding out more.

Join us at our upcoming events this month:

  • In Harmony Festival stall on 24 May
  • Civic Centre Information Event on 28 May
  • Virtual sessions available via the Southend Fostering website

No two days are ever the same. But every day, you have the chance to make a difference.

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